The Scent of a Woman: PDA Boulevard

Starting today, I will be naming my posts that have something to do with the opposite sex as "The Scent of a Woman". This is to delineate my any ordinary posts from those that I am very much familiar with (if not passionate about). It can range a lot of topics as far as girls are concerned. But trust me that it will have something to do with them (at least most of the time).

When you're inside Ateneo, one thing that you cannot escape from is the probability of chancing upon two fellows in their intimate indulgences. I leave it up to your teenage imagination how steamy or how bland that indulgence is; but I trust that you are familiar with the term PDA. And yes, I'm not talking about the Philippine Dental Association or Pinoy Dream Academy, but Public Display of Affection.

Times are changing, and so do I. Gone are the days when the mention of nakedness was a scandalous event. The Victorian Era was eventually replaced with a wide sexual revolution. Here in the Philippines, we still believe that we are a conservative country. But as time goes by, the definition of conservative is changing bit by bit. What may be racy before is not as racy now as it seems. What may be bad now, is not bad before.

Personally, I don't have anything against PDA's. Occassionally, yes, I do get irritated with couples PDA-ing here, there, and everywhere like there is no tomorrow. It's not easy saying anything about PDA because it's really a matter of choice and taste. If I want to do it, then I will do it. And if I do it, I [practically] sympathize with the many people doing the same deed as I am. So I'm a bit biased. But what irritates me with PDA couples who almost have dry sex in public is their lack of decency and sobriety.

Just recently, I browsed through some blogs and discussion boards by Filipinos talking about PDA. In their responses, the two top grossing responses were this: "That's disgusting!" and "I don't care..." Much as I want to sympathize with their cause of love, my personal convictions cry out "That's disgusting!"

Little PDA's are tolerable. Occassional kisses on the cheek and hands, hands twined during a bus ride, head over shoulders, that's pretty much fine for me. In fact, I look at it like a father lulling his daughter to sleep. That's how sweet I find acceptable PDA's. But there were times wherein I would find myself in front of an insatiable couple. Relentless kisses, playful pinches, and creative hands that know where to touch. Good thing I've never heard the girl moan in public, or else I'll send them out of the jeepney for goodness' sake.

What I'm more concerned, however, is how certain people react to these instances: employing the I don't care approach. This was specifically the case I entangled myself into. A jeep with an impassioned couple, hands reaching heavenly places, guy liplocks wetly, and girl pinches the guy's nipple. Feels scandalous and irritating, actually. It's easy to say, "Jem, you're just jealous. Mind your business because they have theirs." But if that is the case, then why are we even studying values education (or worse, social responsibility)?

The area of apathy is the thing that alarms me in here. And apathy has a series of levels. Apathy exists because no one wants to get involved ("I don't want the couple - especially the guy - to snap back at me"), no one finds it alarming ("It's... fine. They're lovers, so they're entitled to that!"), or for voyeuristic reasons ("Ooooh.... free show! I'm watching it because they might do the deed anytime now...").

The theme of PDA is actually about self-respect. Again, occasional kisses, hugs, and hand-holding are not really bad as it sounds. Roger Sternberg says it must be part of that three-pronged love pyramid. But we believe that anything too much is actually bad. So I have to say that PDA's are good as long as it's in the right amounts.

After all, isn't it more fun to drill the PDA when you're in a dark, cold room where only the two of you can indulge in each other's beings? For all you know, you might be in for a better treat.

PDA's, then, for me, must be taken with moderation and total decency.