Sunday, December 28, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
[Don't] Eat the Apple
I believe this was the story almost always drilled to us kids raised in a Catholic School. God created the Earth, the animals and the sky, then Adam and Eve. Eve felt hungry so she set off looking for food. She saw an alluring tree with a sumptuous apple to boot. The snake sales-talked her into getting the apple, and she ate the apple. Like a loving wife, she gave the apple to Adam. And both felt naked. So they clothed themselves with leaves, and God called them out. The rest, as you know, is [salvation] history.I guess the snake can be called the first public relations person since it was able to persuade Eve on taking the apple for herself. The Church calls it temptation; I call it sleazy [and dubious] marketing. It's not that I despise advertising and public relations practitioners (Lord knows how much I want to take up Integrated Marketing Communications some time in my Comm life); it's just that as a journ practitioner, we are asked to be watchful of 'public relations answers' (you know, the super sugarcoated answers typical of rationalizing a wrong deed).
Side point is this: right after Adam and Eve ate the apple, the Bible says that 'their eyes were opened', and with that came the knowledge that they were naked et cetera. By being naked, it was said that their knowledge of the world expanded so much that it rivaled God Himself. But whether the knowledge rivaled God's or not, perhaps it's safe to conclude that they knew better now than before. And to a certain extent, their realization, their 'aha!' moment, brought shivers down their spine. Skepticism, perhaps.
Studying the media, for me, is like an apple experience in the Garden of Eden. When you're experiencing the media from a passive perspective, you believe that the media is a very powerful and a very good friend. You know it could be bad, but you keep it aside.
Let's take episode 6, season 9 of the PowerPuff Girls. In this episode, Bubbles said, "I guess I shouldn't believe everything I say on TV..." Then the Mayor said, "No Bubbles, don't say that! Television is your friend. Television is never wrong and you should always listen to it and do whatever it says." Then the girls said [hypnotically] in unison, "Yes. Television. All hail the great and all-knowing television..." I don't know if it was just mock adoration or sort, but I sure found the message disturbing that I was perturbed by it throughout the day.
Studying the media is like an apple experience in the Garden of Eden. I guess any media analyst will agree with Roger Silverstone saying that we are living in a media saturated world, that everything entails media and we sure can't live without the media. And the image that we know of the media is something that is beneficent to the human race. Something that aids rather than destroys. And it's true to a certain extent, that's why saying negatively about it sends bad vibrations in the process. Truly, nobody wants to talk about the media in its goriest details because we were raised to think that it is the all-good media. The friend that never goes wrong and will never fail. That is our constructed reality. A perspective we have been conditioned tothink and live about.
That is why I was so shocked to find a body of knowledge used to analyze the media from a critical perspective.
But then again, as a Communication student, I have to be familiar with these theories of media reception, power, and representation. I have to know what makes it hot and what makes it not. As a journalism student and practitioner, I am trained to get both sides of the story. And putting these in perspective, it's a deadly position to face something so warm and cuddly and then attack it with due ferocity once you unearth its sinister side.
I agree, then, that it's not easy dabbling with critical theory because it's tantamount to debunking your traditional beliefs. You see everything with a grain of salt, and just as when you are close to believing everything, one simple thought ruins almost everything. That is how I characterize my Media Studies experiences.
My alumni friends used to say that learning begins by intense wonder. Must have gotten it from philosophy class. And now, I am in this stage all over again; of questions and confusion at how the world wide web came to be. Of how social networking sites prove to be a boon and a bane to one's existence. Of why these services provide an avenue for identity construction, and a way to assess one's likeability over the superhighway. Is this exactly what Marshall McLuhan meant by media being the extensions of man? Is it really possible for everyday social relationships be intensified in mediated environments such as chatrooms and instant messaging? Why do people get numerous hits whereas some people barely get any?
Is there a link between social likeability and online likeability?
Malene Charlotte Larsen, Ph.D. is, to date, my greatly admired analyst for coming up with the 35 Perspectives on Social Networking. This document, admittedly, challenged and sustained my previous beliefs that social networking sites are an avenue for identity construction and mediation. I feel, sometimes, that if you are 'liked' by everybody, they will want to see what you have in your online space. What happens then, if you're not that popular? Will it stagnate? What will happen to your site? Few hits?
Truly, studying the media is like an apple experience down the Garden of Eden. With a system of beliefs challenged by non-traditional theories, you take things with a grain of salt. In a way, you learn how to take things in stride even if its trade-off will be constant questioning and wonder. There will be times where you wouldn't want to be in this state; but isn't wonder so great that you actually stumble on something?
That, I guess, is the [not so] secret magic of the world called Media Studies.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
If I were to be interviewed for ACMG...
If I were to be interviewed for the Ateneo College Ministry Group (ACMG), which is, well, still far off in 2009 or 2010, this is what I would say... perhaps (assuming that there would be an interview for one).
DISCLAIMER: Not very permanent. Views may change without prior notice.
-------------------------------
Bio-Data
-------------------------------
Hi there. My name is Jem Rosario. I'm a (insert year level here) AB Comm student applying for your organization.
'Trying out' was, well, pretty much simple and not that simple. Simple, in the sense that the answer to my questions was just right in front of me. Not that simple, because it took a lot of courage and thinking to arrive here. The decision for ACMG, then, was brought about by my need to sustain my spirituality which seems to be declining. If you would allow me to narrate, I had the prime chance to be a Student Religion Coordinator in my second and fourth years in High School. This job was, surprisingly, a recognized class officer post in my High School; and since it's High School, you have all that spiritual formation programs, retreats, and "holy sessions" which are essentially required. It's not that I regret it, in fact I miss it. It's just that getting here in college gives you this sense of missing the good old days when you would walk out of the chapel from the noontime mass and enjoy an extended lunch break.
So to recap, my spiritual formation was very steady during my formative years. It's just that when I came to the University, things started to prove awry because of my time and acads constraints. True, I've been a part of the school paper and I'd admit that it's pretty taxing. It's still a different chunk from my academics. So you see, juggling academics and org work wasn't really a nice thing to me. Before, I still get the chance to drop by the chapel. Now, I don't.
My problem right now, then, is trying to balance my life while keeping a stable connection with the Guy upstairs. I admit to being a seasonal spiritual, and I'm guilty of that. But at least I'm not someone who totally lives a life of PURE pleasure and neglects the mighty Sustainer. My wish then, is to bridge this gap so that I could be spiritual and still be the quintessential Ateneo student we all want to be - MAGIS! (laughs)
So in a sense, I'm betting on ACMG to save my soul. Haha. But that's because I have seen how different life is when you're all consumedby busyness that you don't have time to smell the flowers. Or at least be quiet with yourself. It bothers me sometimes when I'm in the chapel and the silence I make is communicating me something. Something weird. Something akin to solace and a looming 'why?' I don't know where it's coming from, but I just feel it. Not that I cry, but I just sense this weird feeling.
I guess ultimately the decision lies with me if I want my spiritual life to fly or crash. But I'm at least hoping that being with you guys - hopefully - will help me build more friends while being connected 24-ever to the Guy upstairs. I can go on and on but that's the gist of my application. Hehe.
-------------------------------
What are you most interested in?
-------------------------------
Actually what I'm most interested in presently is your choir. I've been, well, "conducting" a set of voices summers ago - that's for Alay Ni Ignacio (ANI) - for masses and I think we're doing pretty well. Nothing compares, however, to a full-blown production of voices... if you know what I mean. Hehe.
To be very honest, I won't give you the reason 'I want to join the choir because I want to sing for God' because I think it's questionable and contentious... for first timers, at least. Or maybe it's just my skepticism running the better side of me. Maybe for me, that saying applies when you are already in the choir stand either playing the keyboard or singing for real. Sometimes, it's best to keep this to yourself because it is in silence that the best things get communicated for real. Why are silent retreats a scary but worth it treat in the first place, diba? I don't know, and I still have a lot to know or disprove. But I hope that everything I do will be for my greater growth and maturity.
Well, I do sing dati... pero voices change come maturity time, so yeah, may distinction na yata ang ibang kanta - kailangan within the voice range. Haha.
-------------------------------
How can we be assured of your commitment?
-------------------------------
Okay, that's a tricky thing. I understand that ACMG is an org and like any college org, it requires time and commitment. I presently have problems coming home late because of traffic conditions. I mean, as much as possible, I try to avoid late arrivals because it wears me out. And I have schoolwork to do. So yeah. But that doesn't necessarily mean that I wouldn't be around. I will be around because that's what's asked of me. I think it's just a matter of time management and right scheduling.
(oh dear... wishful thinking really...)
DISCLAIMER: Not very permanent. Views may change without prior notice.
-------------------------------
Bio-Data
-------------------------------
Hi there. My name is Jem Rosario. I'm a (insert year level here) AB Comm student applying for your organization.
'Trying out' was, well, pretty much simple and not that simple. Simple, in the sense that the answer to my questions was just right in front of me. Not that simple, because it took a lot of courage and thinking to arrive here. The decision for ACMG, then, was brought about by my need to sustain my spirituality which seems to be declining. If you would allow me to narrate, I had the prime chance to be a Student Religion Coordinator in my second and fourth years in High School. This job was, surprisingly, a recognized class officer post in my High School; and since it's High School, you have all that spiritual formation programs, retreats, and "holy sessions" which are essentially required. It's not that I regret it, in fact I miss it. It's just that getting here in college gives you this sense of missing the good old days when you would walk out of the chapel from the noontime mass and enjoy an extended lunch break.
So to recap, my spiritual formation was very steady during my formative years. It's just that when I came to the University, things started to prove awry because of my time and acads constraints. True, I've been a part of the school paper and I'd admit that it's pretty taxing. It's still a different chunk from my academics. So you see, juggling academics and org work wasn't really a nice thing to me. Before, I still get the chance to drop by the chapel. Now, I don't.
My problem right now, then, is trying to balance my life while keeping a stable connection with the Guy upstairs. I admit to being a seasonal spiritual, and I'm guilty of that. But at least I'm not someone who totally lives a life of PURE pleasure and neglects the mighty Sustainer. My wish then, is to bridge this gap so that I could be spiritual and still be the quintessential Ateneo student we all want to be - MAGIS! (laughs)
So in a sense, I'm betting on ACMG to save my soul. Haha. But that's because I have seen how different life is when you're all consumedby busyness that you don't have time to smell the flowers. Or at least be quiet with yourself. It bothers me sometimes when I'm in the chapel and the silence I make is communicating me something. Something weird. Something akin to solace and a looming 'why?' I don't know where it's coming from, but I just feel it. Not that I cry, but I just sense this weird feeling.
I guess ultimately the decision lies with me if I want my spiritual life to fly or crash. But I'm at least hoping that being with you guys - hopefully - will help me build more friends while being connected 24-ever to the Guy upstairs. I can go on and on but that's the gist of my application. Hehe.
-------------------------------
What are you most interested in?
-------------------------------
Actually what I'm most interested in presently is your choir. I've been, well, "conducting" a set of voices summers ago - that's for Alay Ni Ignacio (ANI) - for masses and I think we're doing pretty well. Nothing compares, however, to a full-blown production of voices... if you know what I mean. Hehe.
To be very honest, I won't give you the reason 'I want to join the choir because I want to sing for God' because I think it's questionable and contentious... for first timers, at least. Or maybe it's just my skepticism running the better side of me. Maybe for me, that saying applies when you are already in the choir stand either playing the keyboard or singing for real. Sometimes, it's best to keep this to yourself because it is in silence that the best things get communicated for real. Why are silent retreats a scary but worth it treat in the first place, diba? I don't know, and I still have a lot to know or disprove. But I hope that everything I do will be for my greater growth and maturity.
Well, I do sing dati... pero voices change come maturity time, so yeah, may distinction na yata ang ibang kanta - kailangan within the voice range. Haha.
-------------------------------
How can we be assured of your commitment?
-------------------------------
Okay, that's a tricky thing. I understand that ACMG is an org and like any college org, it requires time and commitment. I presently have problems coming home late because of traffic conditions. I mean, as much as possible, I try to avoid late arrivals because it wears me out. And I have schoolwork to do. So yeah. But that doesn't necessarily mean that I wouldn't be around. I will be around because that's what's asked of me. I think it's just a matter of time management and right scheduling.
(oh dear... wishful thinking really...)
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Dramang Sci10 Lang (Part 2)
Edi katatapos lang ng plenary ni Fr. Ben. Punung-puno ako ng laughtrip moments during that plenary because of the side events that happened. Imagine mo, sa tuwing plastics and polymerization na ang pinag-uusapan, either si Ms. Favis o si Ma'am Cuyegkeng ang to the rescue. Akala ko, this was Fr. Ben's moment to shine (tulad ng dati), pero it's Abby's and Achoot's fame time too!
Kabanata 3: Ang conyo naman ng napili mo!
Duey is my Guidon friend na tulad ko ay na-assign sa pang-umagang plenary. Since may 930-1030 Sci10 class pa siya AFTER the PLENARY, umikot muna ako sa campus pointlessly. Wala lang, feel ko lang maglibot. 50 minutes is not too much difficult to pass if you're walking idly - well, provided at least alam mo kung saan ka pupunta sunod. So when 9:30 struck, balik na ako sa PubRoom kasi kuwento moment na naman iyon. Nang magkita kami ni Duey, nag-umpisa siyang mag-rant (like he always does). Sooner, humantong iyong usapan namin doon sa mga nagtanong. Nahalata ko yung disdain niya doon sa ikalawang nagtanong; kaya nag-dig further muna ako kasi amusing yung rants niya. Tsaka ko ni-reveal sa kanya (after the fiery rant), na yung binabalasa niyang nilalang na iyon ay ang misteryosang si Yumi-chan.
His answer was anything but typical...
"WHAT?!? Siya iyon?! Putek, ang conyo naman ng girl mo! I can't believe you liked her..."
Hwoy! May ganonnn!
Sabi ko na lang sa sarili ko, "P*t*r*g*s ka, Duey. Wala kang pakialam sa magugustuhan ko!" Sabay ngiti ng pagkalaki-laki.
Don't get me wrong, hindi naman ako na-offend or something - sobra lang talaga akong natawa doon sa assertion niyang iyon. Kaya every time feel kong asarin si Duey, gagayahin ko na lang kung paano nagtanong si Yumi-chan. Period.
The day went well with, as usual, pang-aasar moments, 'counseling' sa love life, care of yours truly, Duey and Me. Bow.
Kabanata 4: Two Days After the Plenary
Edi natapos na nga yung euphoria na dala-dala ng Sci10 plenary. Since wala namang announcements na nakalagay sa website ng partner ni Ma'am Cuyegkeng na si Sir David, left nowhere kami kung ano ang gagawin next meeting.
Pero diba, may catch talaga ang 'last class day before the Christmas break'. Bigla-biglang nagdi-dwindle yung number of students sa klase, 8:30 na e wala pa sa kalahati yung SEC-B201 na classroom namin. So sinolo namin ng ka-staff ko na si Bea Cupin at iba pang mga ka-Sci10 yung lamig ng silid. Dumating ang mag-inang Achoot at David. Nag-check ng attendance. Bigla-bigla, nagsalita ang nanay.
"Okay, let's do it the other way around..."
Uh, ano po ma'am?
"Those who are here today..."
Ano ngaaaaa?!?
"... those who are here today will be entitled to an extra cut..." (smile).
Homaygaaaaaaaahhhhd!!!!! EXTRA CUT!!!!!
Ibig sabihin, ang kaisa-isang cut ko sa Sci10 dahil na-late ako at umuulan ay pina-dissipate na niya into thin air!
Chemist talaga si ma'am! Pati inanimate reactions nagagawa niya! G'leng!
I heart you, Ma'am Cuyegkeng... HAHA!
Kabanata 3: Ang conyo naman ng napili mo!
Duey is my Guidon friend na tulad ko ay na-assign sa pang-umagang plenary. Since may 930-1030 Sci10 class pa siya AFTER the PLENARY, umikot muna ako sa campus pointlessly. Wala lang, feel ko lang maglibot. 50 minutes is not too much difficult to pass if you're walking idly - well, provided at least alam mo kung saan ka pupunta sunod. So when 9:30 struck, balik na ako sa PubRoom kasi kuwento moment na naman iyon. Nang magkita kami ni Duey, nag-umpisa siyang mag-rant (like he always does). Sooner, humantong iyong usapan namin doon sa mga nagtanong. Nahalata ko yung disdain niya doon sa ikalawang nagtanong; kaya nag-dig further muna ako kasi amusing yung rants niya. Tsaka ko ni-reveal sa kanya (after the fiery rant), na yung binabalasa niyang nilalang na iyon ay ang misteryosang si Yumi-chan.
His answer was anything but typical...
"WHAT?!? Siya iyon?! Putek, ang conyo naman ng girl mo! I can't believe you liked her..."
Hwoy! May ganonnn!
Sabi ko na lang sa sarili ko, "P*t*r*g*s ka, Duey. Wala kang pakialam sa magugustuhan ko!" Sabay ngiti ng pagkalaki-laki.
Don't get me wrong, hindi naman ako na-offend or something - sobra lang talaga akong natawa doon sa assertion niyang iyon. Kaya every time feel kong asarin si Duey, gagayahin ko na lang kung paano nagtanong si Yumi-chan. Period.
The day went well with, as usual, pang-aasar moments, 'counseling' sa love life, care of yours truly, Duey and Me. Bow.
Kabanata 4: Two Days After the Plenary
Edi natapos na nga yung euphoria na dala-dala ng Sci10 plenary. Since wala namang announcements na nakalagay sa website ng partner ni Ma'am Cuyegkeng na si Sir David, left nowhere kami kung ano ang gagawin next meeting.
Pero diba, may catch talaga ang 'last class day before the Christmas break'. Bigla-biglang nagdi-dwindle yung number of students sa klase, 8:30 na e wala pa sa kalahati yung SEC-B201 na classroom namin. So sinolo namin ng ka-staff ko na si Bea Cupin at iba pang mga ka-Sci10 yung lamig ng silid. Dumating ang mag-inang Achoot at David. Nag-check ng attendance. Bigla-bigla, nagsalita ang nanay.
"Okay, let's do it the other way around..."
Uh, ano po ma'am?
"Those who are here today..."
Ano ngaaaaa?!?
"... those who are here today will be entitled to an extra cut..." (smile).
Homaygaaaaaaaahhhhd!!!!! EXTRA CUT!!!!!
Ibig sabihin, ang kaisa-isang cut ko sa Sci10 dahil na-late ako at umuulan ay pina-dissipate na niya into thin air!
Chemist talaga si ma'am! Pati inanimate reactions nagagawa niya! G'leng!
I heart you, Ma'am Cuyegkeng... HAHA!
Dramang Sci10 Lang (Part 1)
Sorry na sa acads, pero talagang kwento-worthy lang talaga (siguro) yung ise-share ko ngayong umaga/tanghali/gabi. Kaya, umpisahan natin ang mga Dramang sa Sci10AA Lang Nagaganap.
Kabanata 1: Mga Kuwento ni Pader Ben
Kung ako ang iyong tatanungin, walang super new na sinabi si Fr. President Ben Nebres, SJ sa kanyang "Technology and Lifestyle" plenary (830-930, Dec. 17, 2008). In my harshest terms, "dakilang rehash lang naman ng mga Sci10 articles iyan eh..." Pero don't get me wrong, kahit rehash lang iyan, may mga nag-stand out pa rin na peculiarities tulad ng...
Supersize Me! na sinabayan ng katunaw-tunaw na [toothy] grin ni Fr. Ben. Syempre, por added epek, may ipinakita siyang picture ng isang American kid na malapad pa sa 36 inch na waistline. In short, mataba. At may libreng endorsement pa from McDonald's kasi iyon yung location ng obese kid noong siya'y pinicture-an.
Ang kanyang 'dramatization' ng isang always there na nanay sa abroad. Tulad ng...
"Hon, saan ka ba nagpunta? Five minutes na akong tumatawag sa selpon mo di ka pa sumasagot?!" Nasa tindahan kasi si mister, bumibili ng suka sa tindahan ni Aling Bebang...
"Anak! May exam ka ngayon! Gising na, dali male-late ka!" Sosyal si mader! Manggigising na nga lang di cellphone pa! Magkano kayang load ang napunta para doon?!
"Hon, na-miss kita..." My gash, five minutes pa lang ang nakalilipas nang huli kang tumawag. Marami kang load, ano? Pasa load ka nga diyan!
Ang pinanggalingan niyang narrations na iyan ay yung sinasabi niyang lecture on Family Migration at kung paano nagiging connected 24-ever ang mga OFW families. Nakakatawa yung ilang instances, especially the ever-present momma, pero masisisi mo nga ba talaga e ginagampanan lang naman niya ang pagiging tanging ina niya?
All in all, the Sci10 plenary was a good experience for a start. Sana yung ibang plenaries e maging as substantial as that - at balita ko, ang teacher ko nang si Ma'am Achoot Cuyegkeng ang magpe-plenary... (pero balita ko lang iyon).
Kabanata 2: Tanong ng Bayan.
Edi natapos na nga ang plenary ni Fr. Ben. In-open na nga yung floor for the questions. Syempre, hiya to death naman ang mga gustong magtanong. I can see it in their eyes na pabaling-baling ang tingin. Bakit kaya ganoon, ang hirap maging first sa open forum: dahil ba all eyes and ears are on you, o baka bansagan ka lang na eager beaver? Eh the heck, ano naman ngayon... e may question ka eh! Burning need to answer that question. So over and above, may nagtanong na - tungkol yata sa plastics. Since na-bring up ni Fr. Ben yung initiatives ng Ateneo Environmental Management Coalition (AEMC), yung mga sumagot para sa tanong na iyon ay yung mga proponents na sina Ma'am Achoot at si Ms. Abigail Favis. Then natapos yung tanong niya. And then, may awkward silence/anticipation/excitement kung sino ang susunod na magtatanong. Finally, may tumayo. Isang babae. Pink (peach?) shirt. Umakyat ng pa-teeny bopping fashion then nagtanong.
It's Yumi-chan!!!!
"Um, Father.... um, I was just wondering... how come we never got rid of strawwwwwss? (blah blah blah)"
If there is anything I could say towards Yumi-chan's way of saying things, it's just this:
that's so conyo-tic...
If before, may super kaduper thump thump epek sa akin iyang si Yumi, ngayon ay...
mayroon pa rin... hindi na nga lang kasing-tindi tulad ng dati. Well, time and the others kasi eh...
Sinagot siya ni Ms. Favis by saying that, "Well actually, we've noticed that straws are the hardest thing to dispose of since it's a necessity in a beverage. But the truth is, straws are actually the safest plastic around since it's made of polypropylene..."
Natawa na lang ako inwardly.
And last but not the least, kilala ko yung huling nagtanong. At siya'y walang iba kundi...
ako.
Haha.
Dinirect ko yung question kay Fr. Ben, "Fr. Ben, one of the things that I've learned from my classes in the Communication Department is that technology enables us to live a fast-paced lifestyle and environment. Do you think that sooner or later - or maybe even now - the concept of a 24/7 society will come into fruition? Or let's say [a society where] people who sleep less than 3-5 hours a day because of work?"
Yung sagot ni Fr. Ben was very reminiscent of a Jesuit because he empowered me to reflect on it. And true, he said, that we are living in a fast-paced society getting faster by the second. Na may trade-off rin ang ating pakikihalubilo sa technology in a sense na bumibilis masyado ang buhay natin. Hindi rin niya kinalimutan iyong point na possible na sa atin bumalik (adversely) yung mga ginagawa natin vis-a-vis technology. Basta, over and above Fr. Ben's answer, in-invite lang niya akong mag-reflect.
Amen.
So that's the first part of Dramang Sci10 Lang. Don't miss the second installment kasi pamatay yung nangyari doon - something na ako ma'y di inakalang mangyayari.
Kabanata 1: Mga Kuwento ni Pader Ben
Kung ako ang iyong tatanungin, walang super new na sinabi si Fr. President Ben Nebres, SJ sa kanyang "Technology and Lifestyle" plenary (830-930, Dec. 17, 2008). In my harshest terms, "dakilang rehash lang naman ng mga Sci10 articles iyan eh..." Pero don't get me wrong, kahit rehash lang iyan, may mga nag-stand out pa rin na peculiarities tulad ng...
Supersize Me! na sinabayan ng katunaw-tunaw na [toothy] grin ni Fr. Ben. Syempre, por added epek, may ipinakita siyang picture ng isang American kid na malapad pa sa 36 inch na waistline. In short, mataba. At may libreng endorsement pa from McDonald's kasi iyon yung location ng obese kid noong siya'y pinicture-an.
Ang kanyang 'dramatization' ng isang always there na nanay sa abroad. Tulad ng...
"Hon, saan ka ba nagpunta? Five minutes na akong tumatawag sa selpon mo di ka pa sumasagot?!" Nasa tindahan kasi si mister, bumibili ng suka sa tindahan ni Aling Bebang...
"Anak! May exam ka ngayon! Gising na, dali male-late ka!" Sosyal si mader! Manggigising na nga lang di cellphone pa! Magkano kayang load ang napunta para doon?!
"Hon, na-miss kita..." My gash, five minutes pa lang ang nakalilipas nang huli kang tumawag. Marami kang load, ano? Pasa load ka nga diyan!
Ang pinanggalingan niyang narrations na iyan ay yung sinasabi niyang lecture on Family Migration at kung paano nagiging connected 24-ever ang mga OFW families. Nakakatawa yung ilang instances, especially the ever-present momma, pero masisisi mo nga ba talaga e ginagampanan lang naman niya ang pagiging tanging ina niya?
All in all, the Sci10 plenary was a good experience for a start. Sana yung ibang plenaries e maging as substantial as that - at balita ko, ang teacher ko nang si Ma'am Achoot Cuyegkeng ang magpe-plenary... (pero balita ko lang iyon).
Kabanata 2: Tanong ng Bayan.
Edi natapos na nga ang plenary ni Fr. Ben. In-open na nga yung floor for the questions. Syempre, hiya to death naman ang mga gustong magtanong. I can see it in their eyes na pabaling-baling ang tingin. Bakit kaya ganoon, ang hirap maging first sa open forum: dahil ba all eyes and ears are on you, o baka bansagan ka lang na eager beaver? Eh the heck, ano naman ngayon... e may question ka eh! Burning need to answer that question. So over and above, may nagtanong na - tungkol yata sa plastics. Since na-bring up ni Fr. Ben yung initiatives ng Ateneo Environmental Management Coalition (AEMC), yung mga sumagot para sa tanong na iyon ay yung mga proponents na sina Ma'am Achoot at si Ms. Abigail Favis. Then natapos yung tanong niya. And then, may awkward silence/anticipation/excitement kung sino ang susunod na magtatanong. Finally, may tumayo. Isang babae. Pink (peach?) shirt. Umakyat ng pa-teeny bopping fashion then nagtanong.
It's Yumi-chan!!!!
"Um, Father.... um, I was just wondering... how come we never got rid of strawwwwwss? (blah blah blah)"
If there is anything I could say towards Yumi-chan's way of saying things, it's just this:
that's so conyo-tic...
If before, may super kaduper thump thump epek sa akin iyang si Yumi, ngayon ay...
mayroon pa rin... hindi na nga lang kasing-tindi tulad ng dati. Well, time and the others kasi eh...
Sinagot siya ni Ms. Favis by saying that, "Well actually, we've noticed that straws are the hardest thing to dispose of since it's a necessity in a beverage. But the truth is, straws are actually the safest plastic around since it's made of polypropylene..."
Natawa na lang ako inwardly.
And last but not the least, kilala ko yung huling nagtanong. At siya'y walang iba kundi...
ako.
Haha.
Dinirect ko yung question kay Fr. Ben, "Fr. Ben, one of the things that I've learned from my classes in the Communication Department is that technology enables us to live a fast-paced lifestyle and environment. Do you think that sooner or later - or maybe even now - the concept of a 24/7 society will come into fruition? Or let's say [a society where] people who sleep less than 3-5 hours a day because of work?"
Yung sagot ni Fr. Ben was very reminiscent of a Jesuit because he empowered me to reflect on it. And true, he said, that we are living in a fast-paced society getting faster by the second. Na may trade-off rin ang ating pakikihalubilo sa technology in a sense na bumibilis masyado ang buhay natin. Hindi rin niya kinalimutan iyong point na possible na sa atin bumalik (adversely) yung mga ginagawa natin vis-a-vis technology. Basta, over and above Fr. Ben's answer, in-invite lang niya akong mag-reflect.
Amen.
So that's the first part of Dramang Sci10 Lang. Don't miss the second installment kasi pamatay yung nangyari doon - something na ako ma'y di inakalang mangyayari.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Grrrr: A Teaching Demo
Totoo yung kasabihan - the more time you spend doing something, the more you learn its quirks and actions that you have to deal with. It may not be a super real saying, pero at least the thought of proportionality between time and the quirks makes sense.
Part of the Alay Ni Ignacio (ANI) Acads ritual is the demo teaching for each volunteer. You choose a department to enlist in, sign up for demo teaching, 'teach' for 15 minutes in front of the Department Chair (DC), and then wait for further instructions.
Two years na ako nagtuturo sa ANI (assuming that I'll make it next summer), and it crossed my mind to cross departments. Last summer, I taught Introductory Physics to the incoming fourth year kids. Ngayon, I wanted to do Chem because of David Peralta, my oh so illustrious/brilliant/stupendous Chem1 teacher. Also, I'm currently teaching General Chemistry to Third Year Marikina Science High School students since it's my NSTP for the entire year (thank you, Pathways!). So I decided to do a demo for two departments: Physics and Chem.
The ChemDept proved earlier; and since I have taught the demo topic before (Periodic Trends), I simply used my lecture notebook for the demo itself.
And so it went. 15 minutes of pure lecturing.
And then, the panel evaluation (mala-American Idol, if you ask me).
The details of the evaluation, I'd rather leave blank because it's for my personal consumption only. But let's just say that some comments from my panel were a bit uncalled for, or better yet, did not make sense.
For one, the comment that the lecture was too technically/too geeky was both sensible and insensible. Sensible, because we need to prepare the students for the academic year. And that requires good understanding/footing of the lessons taught in there. In their own words, 'you have to make the subject come to life by making them involved in it'. And I couldn't agree more. But the only problematic thing is when this preoccupation of making the subject SUPER student-friendly becomes an avenue for turning the subject into a set of "stupid analogies" (as what Ray Aguas would call it) than a body of facts. I am not against stupid analogies, in fact I appreciate it. But I'd like to keep stupid analogies to a minimum because I want my students to remember the heart of the matter, and not just its pericardium.
So I was practically raising my eyebrow when the comments were being delivered. Of course, I wouldn't do it in front of them (lest I get kicked for real). But I really felt weird after the demo, it's as if the only thing I was good at was my voice projection and preparedness.
I have no intentions of showing you that I am the best teacher in the world because I'm not. Nor do I desire to be that uptight teacher who only knows how to talk to his blackboard and overheard projector (a laptop, if you're any modern) during classes. I desire to be a teacher filled with substance but able to convey them to my students. Quoting the 'Chem God' / Assistant Instructor Ian Ken Dimzon, "it is not easy teaching Chem because it is full of abstractions. Hindi mo ma-visualize kung paano mag-turn counter-clockwise ang isang atom kaagad. So you need to illustrate that to your students without sacrificing the substance and the facts associated with it."
When I ran into Sir Ian this afternoon and narrated the story, I felt so relieved that my convictions regarding substance and stupid analogies were practically the same. Just like me, he also believes that the facts are essentially more important than the analogies although they work hand-in-hand for the understanding of the lesson.
Now, I realized: it's easy telling someone 'adjust to your students' and all that; but to adjust to them for real is an entirely different matter. Styles vary from person to person; and while I understand my panel's pure intentions, this thing against geeky lectures was something I found hard to come into terms with. Because for me, the 'geekness' of my lecture was a necessary evil. And I'd rather give it than just blubber about analogies that it becomes a bane than a boon.
That doesn't stop me, however, from pursuing a teaching post in ANI. I love my job and I find it the best way to spend one's summer. Yun lang.
Part of the Alay Ni Ignacio (ANI) Acads ritual is the demo teaching for each volunteer. You choose a department to enlist in, sign up for demo teaching, 'teach' for 15 minutes in front of the Department Chair (DC), and then wait for further instructions.
Two years na ako nagtuturo sa ANI (assuming that I'll make it next summer), and it crossed my mind to cross departments. Last summer, I taught Introductory Physics to the incoming fourth year kids. Ngayon, I wanted to do Chem because of David Peralta, my oh so illustrious/brilliant/stupendous Chem1 teacher. Also, I'm currently teaching General Chemistry to Third Year Marikina Science High School students since it's my NSTP for the entire year (thank you, Pathways!). So I decided to do a demo for two departments: Physics and Chem.
The ChemDept proved earlier; and since I have taught the demo topic before (Periodic Trends), I simply used my lecture notebook for the demo itself.
And so it went. 15 minutes of pure lecturing.
And then, the panel evaluation (mala-American Idol, if you ask me).
The details of the evaluation, I'd rather leave blank because it's for my personal consumption only. But let's just say that some comments from my panel were a bit uncalled for, or better yet, did not make sense.
For one, the comment that the lecture was too technically/too geeky was both sensible and insensible. Sensible, because we need to prepare the students for the academic year. And that requires good understanding/footing of the lessons taught in there. In their own words, 'you have to make the subject come to life by making them involved in it'. And I couldn't agree more. But the only problematic thing is when this preoccupation of making the subject SUPER student-friendly becomes an avenue for turning the subject into a set of "stupid analogies" (as what Ray Aguas would call it) than a body of facts. I am not against stupid analogies, in fact I appreciate it. But I'd like to keep stupid analogies to a minimum because I want my students to remember the heart of the matter, and not just its pericardium.
So I was practically raising my eyebrow when the comments were being delivered. Of course, I wouldn't do it in front of them (lest I get kicked for real). But I really felt weird after the demo, it's as if the only thing I was good at was my voice projection and preparedness.
I have no intentions of showing you that I am the best teacher in the world because I'm not. Nor do I desire to be that uptight teacher who only knows how to talk to his blackboard and overheard projector (a laptop, if you're any modern) during classes. I desire to be a teacher filled with substance but able to convey them to my students. Quoting the 'Chem God' / Assistant Instructor Ian Ken Dimzon, "it is not easy teaching Chem because it is full of abstractions. Hindi mo ma-visualize kung paano mag-turn counter-clockwise ang isang atom kaagad. So you need to illustrate that to your students without sacrificing the substance and the facts associated with it."
When I ran into Sir Ian this afternoon and narrated the story, I felt so relieved that my convictions regarding substance and stupid analogies were practically the same. Just like me, he also believes that the facts are essentially more important than the analogies although they work hand-in-hand for the understanding of the lesson.
Now, I realized: it's easy telling someone 'adjust to your students' and all that; but to adjust to them for real is an entirely different matter. Styles vary from person to person; and while I understand my panel's pure intentions, this thing against geeky lectures was something I found hard to come into terms with. Because for me, the 'geekness' of my lecture was a necessary evil. And I'd rather give it than just blubber about analogies that it becomes a bane than a boon.
That doesn't stop me, however, from pursuing a teaching post in ANI. I love my job and I find it the best way to spend one's summer. Yun lang.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Recession
Frankly, it has been nine months since I last conversed withYumi-chan. And though you may laugh at me for still being this inept little dude who hasn't gone over a previous 'heartbreak', I still believe that an unfinished business is really some unsettling score.
My heydays during that time were mostly mundane. I smile when she smiles, and I'm happy when I talk to her. It is really true, the saying that the simple things really make you happy. That the best things in life are free. Where will you ever find love but in a person who's willing to be committed towards you? It does cost some emotional price, but to say a material/economic price, I don't think so.
And that's what makes me a little depressed.
It was nobody's fault, anyway. A fallout was to be expected sooner or later. But the really unsettling score is when my course blockmate intervened and poisoned the well. As if getting bad vibes wasn't enough, the blockmate had the nerve to say the deed to other people. To generate support? Sympathy? Why?
To me, however, the 'other people' weren't really 'other people'. They were friends dear to me. So at the first mentioning of the misdeed, I was informed. And I owe them my sanity today. Because if I didn't know it, I might have gone on with my heydays with a lingering question in my mind.
In one point or another, the people we actually 'care for' are those we want to give our time. We spent hours mulling over talking to them, whether through text or instant messaging, or through landline or cellphone. The ultimate objective is to be connected, and simply revel in each other's company. When you're 'in care' for that person, scripts really fly out of the window. 'Anything goes' is the name of the game, and you suddenly notice that three hours have already gone by. And you leave satisfied, contented, with a smile.
My editor, Sara, was right when she surmised that what I wanted from Yumi-chan is this sense of closeness that a faithful friend can give. Her terms point to mutual understanding (MU); and yes in my furtive dreams, I dream of that. Yet I believe that the foundations of true love are laid like a brick on a stone wall. You start off with whatever you can gather, and just build it up from there. Yes I believe in love, and I long to be in love. But to go for hasty love is something I would not bear.
Waiting for that special someone is actually an exercise of freedom and pain. One, you are free. Free to decide everything about your life; no need to be concerned about what/where/when to eat/hang out/sleep. Your life is in your hands, and you're pretty happy to have that. But once in a while pain creeps up your skin - maybe through a question of why you are still alone. Or a longing to be with someone to empty your love, care, and devotion to. In any eventuality, the reality speaks loudly it is really hard to wait. But, just like Professor Ueno's faithful dog, Hachiko, good things do come to those who wait.
Recuperating after that falling out wasn't an easy process for me because I know that there's a lingering question behind. I want to curse, kill, and smash my blockmate-culprit to pieces. But when I consider her disadvantaged state in life, I stop to say it's no use dealing with a disadvantaged enemy. Like a Chinese warrior who chooses to fight only the foe of equal stature, I choose to let my culprit's deed pass. Besides, if I reacted to whatever my blockmate did, it would only prove her victory in giving me a 'ruined life'.
And I'm really affected, yes. So affected that I can't stop thinking about the what ifs. But to sa that my life is ruined is a complete understatement. An exaggeration of my recuperation process. A complete, grand fallacy worthy of being thrown out of the window. Because if I am ruined, my life shouldn't be the same again. I shouldn't be laughing, I shouldn't be living. I should be like a living dead on a patch of earth. But I am here, alive, smiling, and even laughing. I have claimed stability over my life, and I am moving at a steady pace. So why be bothered with a perturbed spirit - such as the one who poisoned the well?
I like to face my culprit with a conviction that she is wrong to have done that. For the sake of personal interests, her doing was just so low. But one thing remains for sure: that between me and my beloved culprit...
I am still the ultimate champion.
Because I have victored over my own personal demons.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
My heydays during that time were mostly mundane. I smile when she smiles, and I'm happy when I talk to her. It is really true, the saying that the simple things really make you happy. That the best things in life are free. Where will you ever find love but in a person who's willing to be committed towards you? It does cost some emotional price, but to say a material/economic price, I don't think so.
And that's what makes me a little depressed.
It was nobody's fault, anyway. A fallout was to be expected sooner or later. But the really unsettling score is when my course blockmate intervened and poisoned the well. As if getting bad vibes wasn't enough, the blockmate had the nerve to say the deed to other people. To generate support? Sympathy? Why?
To me, however, the 'other people' weren't really 'other people'. They were friends dear to me. So at the first mentioning of the misdeed, I was informed. And I owe them my sanity today. Because if I didn't know it, I might have gone on with my heydays with a lingering question in my mind.
In one point or another, the people we actually 'care for' are those we want to give our time. We spent hours mulling over talking to them, whether through text or instant messaging, or through landline or cellphone. The ultimate objective is to be connected, and simply revel in each other's company. When you're 'in care' for that person, scripts really fly out of the window. 'Anything goes' is the name of the game, and you suddenly notice that three hours have already gone by. And you leave satisfied, contented, with a smile.
My editor, Sara, was right when she surmised that what I wanted from Yumi-chan is this sense of closeness that a faithful friend can give. Her terms point to mutual understanding (MU); and yes in my furtive dreams, I dream of that. Yet I believe that the foundations of true love are laid like a brick on a stone wall. You start off with whatever you can gather, and just build it up from there. Yes I believe in love, and I long to be in love. But to go for hasty love is something I would not bear.
Waiting for that special someone is actually an exercise of freedom and pain. One, you are free. Free to decide everything about your life; no need to be concerned about what/where/when to eat/hang out/sleep. Your life is in your hands, and you're pretty happy to have that. But once in a while pain creeps up your skin - maybe through a question of why you are still alone. Or a longing to be with someone to empty your love, care, and devotion to. In any eventuality, the reality speaks loudly it is really hard to wait. But, just like Professor Ueno's faithful dog, Hachiko, good things do come to those who wait.
Recuperating after that falling out wasn't an easy process for me because I know that there's a lingering question behind. I want to curse, kill, and smash my blockmate-culprit to pieces. But when I consider her disadvantaged state in life, I stop to say it's no use dealing with a disadvantaged enemy. Like a Chinese warrior who chooses to fight only the foe of equal stature, I choose to let my culprit's deed pass. Besides, if I reacted to whatever my blockmate did, it would only prove her victory in giving me a 'ruined life'.
And I'm really affected, yes. So affected that I can't stop thinking about the what ifs. But to sa that my life is ruined is a complete understatement. An exaggeration of my recuperation process. A complete, grand fallacy worthy of being thrown out of the window. Because if I am ruined, my life shouldn't be the same again. I shouldn't be laughing, I shouldn't be living. I should be like a living dead on a patch of earth. But I am here, alive, smiling, and even laughing. I have claimed stability over my life, and I am moving at a steady pace. So why be bothered with a perturbed spirit - such as the one who poisoned the well?
I like to face my culprit with a conviction that she is wrong to have done that. For the sake of personal interests, her doing was just so low. But one thing remains for sure: that between me and my beloved culprit...
I am still the ultimate champion.
Because I have victored over my own personal demons.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Say 'Hi!'
Presently, the thing that I'm dealing with as far as my journ classes are concerned is not the articles or the class requirements (at least not yet). What I'm more concerned is the way we live our lives inside the journ classes: as if each person is a self-feeding being on its own, capable of internal subsistence and independence.
I once told in my LiveJournal account that teachers aren't really obliged to make sure that their students interact with one another. After all, we are already college students who should be capable of carrying ourselves socially. But sometimes (just sometimes), leaving the class to its devices is not just enough (at least for me). I believe that in order to make the class livelier than it should be, the teacher must ensure that the students are actually interacting with one another, and not just sitting there waiting for the lecture to finish.
This, I believe, is a dilemma in my journ class: saying 'hi!'
While it may not really pose as a problem worthy of massive solutions and personal initiatives, it kinda fuzzles me why we are so quiet towards one another. Well, saying 'hi!' is not really a problem. After all, an innocent 'hi!' will not release the bombs that Kim Jong Il has stashed in North Korea - it might even release a thousand flowers there in the garden.
Pero yun nga, nakaka-apprehensive yung mag-'hi!' ka sa mga taong pakiramdam mo'y may sariling mundo.
Mambasag na kaya ako ng mundo para naman maging part ako ng world na iyon...
I once told in my LiveJournal account that teachers aren't really obliged to make sure that their students interact with one another. After all, we are already college students who should be capable of carrying ourselves socially. But sometimes (just sometimes), leaving the class to its devices is not just enough (at least for me). I believe that in order to make the class livelier than it should be, the teacher must ensure that the students are actually interacting with one another, and not just sitting there waiting for the lecture to finish.
This, I believe, is a dilemma in my journ class: saying 'hi!'
While it may not really pose as a problem worthy of massive solutions and personal initiatives, it kinda fuzzles me why we are so quiet towards one another. Well, saying 'hi!' is not really a problem. After all, an innocent 'hi!' will not release the bombs that Kim Jong Il has stashed in North Korea - it might even release a thousand flowers there in the garden.
Pero yun nga, nakaka-apprehensive yung mag-'hi!' ka sa mga taong pakiramdam mo'y may sariling mundo.
Mambasag na kaya ako ng mundo para naman maging part ako ng world na iyon...
Multiply and Me (A Geekgasmic Blog Post)
It really sucks bigtime when you get used to blogging in Multiply and then suddenly shift to a much hushed environment such as Blogger or LiveJournal. In a sense, you miss the crowds and the replies you get from people no matter how many or how few they are. At least, in Multiply, you know that your space gets viewed, people get curious about your current content and decide for themselves if it's worth commenting or not. In Blogger/LiveJournal, your only consolation is the friends you make in there.There are certain issues surrounding it, however. When it comes to content creation, social networking sites promises personal space and freedom. Meaning, the user has the free capacity to create space and time like it was their own room. And being the owner of your room, you have the power to allow or disallow entry. That's why we have privacy settings - one inviolable right of a social networking site user/client.
But think of it as like Wisteria Lane in Desperate Housewives. Almost everyone knows what's happening in each household, and every little thing spreads like wildfire. There are friends who drop by to give each other sugar, and live lives of pure simplicity typical of the American Dream. But beyond that seeming warmth and friendliness are mysteries locked from within, or how illicit relationships happen within/without the marriage context. You seem to see Wisteria Lane with a tinge of ideality and say that "this neighborhood is the neighborhood to die for", when in fact, it's like any ordinary community. Only interesting.
That's how my typology of social networking sites use goes. It's like an ideal community that you build, and you share yourself in order to be noticed. At the very beginning, people are very much interested to see the newbie on the lot - is this person amiable? is she likeable? is he very accommodating? Things like that. But once that 'getting to know' stage has finished, things go on a great plateau until the next time you hit the airwaves and make history all over again.
It is with great alarm that I approach one startling trend about social networking sites: the performance of one's identity. In the few journal articles I've read about New Media and the Online Community, researchers have pointed out how teenage Americans use MySpace and Facebook as a ticket to connectivity and "coolness". Although it is not generalizable in the Philippine setting, it is highly possible that a densely-packed service such as Multiply could be experiencing the same situation.
The nearest experience I had towards identity performance is my great wonder why Friend A's Multiply account is always on a reply rampage whenever something new is posted (whether it's a photo album or a [lame] one-line blog post) versus Friend B who has made it a point to post content every single day and be met with a cold, eerie silence over the airwaves. I, for one, receive the least number of replies on blog posts I have 'passionately' made versus those I made just for the sake of it (like those lame three-line blog posts). Does it really have to do with likeability (or how people perceive you socially)? Or is it simply about uses and gratification?
In a sense, social psychology will tell you that a good number of people do things better when watched (social facilitation). And I think blogging in a social networking site is no exception. Why was there a need to put a blog function in Multiply when there's Blogger, LiveJournal, or Xanga to address the need anyway? Why do some people like blogging in Multiply compared to the time when they poured their hearts in the LiveJournal accounts? What is the magic behind the success of the Multiply blog? Is it really because of its release function? Its capability to make your sentiments public? Or simply an avenue to facilitate image reconstruction?
Malene Charlotte Larsen, Ph.D. in her 35 Perspectives of Social Networking once said that in a social networking site, identity gets constructed, reconstructed, and displayed. Such sites also act as co-constructors of one's personal identity. If we were to consider the second statement, one could think that the 'contacts' in a sense affect what we post in our accounts. If we feel it is right and okay for them, we go and post it. If it isn''t, then we don't. Such is the same with posting "controversial content" (rants, especially); we run risks posting these because of popular ethical considerations (which is quite normal). But perhaps the most startling of these is the reassurance perspective where "social networking sites are forums for reassurance and confirmatory messages between young people constantly reminding them that they are all right and someone likes them".
This, then, may perhaps explain why Friend A and Friend B's Multiply accounts are so different! Maybe it has something to do with likeability after all!
Michael Hecht in his Communication Theory of Identity once said that personal identity is something that comes from within, yet becomes influenced by society. Marshall McLuhan will tell you that today's society is an Information Society dependent on technology for building the global village. Globalization has made the world never too far from each other. If we are going to live in this world of closing in and in and in, then what is going to happen to our personal space? How else are we going to decorate our room? How else are we going to restrict passages when we are now called to keep it open?
Perhaps its time to reconsider how we use today's technology: are we using it for our greater benefit, or for our greater enslavement?
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Stiff Neck
Ang hindi marunong lumingon sa pinanggalingan... may stiff neck.
Minsan, may mga pagkakataon na gusto kong tanungin: "Ako ba ay may telepathic powers na pag inisip ko, minsa'y nagkakatotoo?"
Kasi, may mga instances na nag-aala-Ray Aguas ako when he imitates God by making some thought materialize. Ganito niya ida-dramatize iyon. Iisipin ni God ang 'tomatoes' (nang nakalagay sa ulo ang kamay niya). Tapos pag ibinaba na ni God yung kamay niya at sumigaw ng "tomatoes!", <ka-ching!> lalabas na yung tomatoes sa kamay niya.
Minsan talaga, weird na nagkakatotoo ang ilang pinagmumuni-munian natin.
Noong semestral break, pinapangarap ko na maging Sci10 teacher si Ma'am Achoot Cuyegkeng. Syempre, di ko pa alam yung odds na hinaharap ko pag enlistment time na. So I was pretty wishing and hoping na matuloy nga yung pinapangarap ko.
Halfway through the sembreak, naglalakad ako sa may Zen Garden nang makasalubong ko si Ma'am Cuyegkeng. Syempre, dahil kilala lang niya ako that time as a Guidoneer, simpleng 'hi!' lang ang ipinarating ko sa kanya.
Nag-smile naman siya pabalik.
Hindi ko inakalang magiging teacher ko siya for Sci10 this semester.
Similarly, ngayong mga nakaraang araw, may iniisip akong isang nilalang. Yung kaisa-isang nilalang na gasgas na ang pagkakabanggit sa blog na ito, pero importante pa rin sa akin anyway. Siya yung dahilan kung bakit tila nasa langit ako noong first year, second sem. Malapit na rin kasi yung araw kung kelan una akong nag-'hi!' sa kanya (actually today iyon, December 7), at naaalala ko yung mga pinaggagagawa ko back then. Nagkatipun-tipon kami ng 2 friends ko online, at nagkumustahan. Napag-usapan rin yung kabaliwan ko noong nakaraang taon, at kung paano ako nabubuhay one year after.
Kinaumagahan, matinung-matino ang mood ko. Ma'am Cuyegkeng day kasi eh (sori na, idol ko kasi siya eh), so dapat good mood ako. Nakapila ako sa tricycle terminal nang biglang mapansin kong paparating siya - yung sinasabi ko sa previousparagraph. As a way of moving on, pinilit ko nang mag-smile; para at least, kung mapansin niya, ay mas lalong gumanda ang mood ko at makumusta siya after 9 months. Pero ayun, dire-diretso siya na parang sundalong inutusang mag-forward march. Parang walang nakita. Parang may stiff neck.
E bakit di ka nag-"hi!"?
Kasi kumplikado ang dahilan kung bakit kaya huwag mo nang alamin.
Pero in general, nakakainis ang mga taong may 'stiff neck'. Syempre, literally wala naman siyang stiff neck noong araw na iyon kasi kung meron, matatawa na lang ako nang matindi. Pero gets? Ang hirap talaga kung nakikipagplastikan ka sa isang tao, let alone isang taong pinilit mo lang kilalanin because you liked her sensibility and wit. At dahil may natuklasan lang siyang hindi niya dapat nalaman, ay nagbago na ang lahat.
Ni hindi ka man lang niya binigyan ng benefit of the doubt.
At iyon ang masakit sa akin.
Kaya ngayon, December 7, 2008, minamarkahan ko ang isang taon mula nang mag-'hi!' ako sa kanya. Nakakatawa, kung tutuusin, at may karapatan kayong tumawa. Pero iyon lang ang punto ko, nakakainis ang mga taong may stiff neck. Feeling nila kasi, sila lang ang tama.
Now if only I could straighten up her neck slowly but surely... HAHA!
Minsan, may mga pagkakataon na gusto kong tanungin: "Ako ba ay may telepathic powers na pag inisip ko, minsa'y nagkakatotoo?"
Kasi, may mga instances na nag-aala-Ray Aguas ako when he imitates God by making some thought materialize. Ganito niya ida-dramatize iyon. Iisipin ni God ang 'tomatoes' (nang nakalagay sa ulo ang kamay niya). Tapos pag ibinaba na ni God yung kamay niya at sumigaw ng "tomatoes!", <ka-ching!> lalabas na yung tomatoes sa kamay niya.
Minsan talaga, weird na nagkakatotoo ang ilang pinagmumuni-munian natin.
Noong semestral break, pinapangarap ko na maging Sci10 teacher si Ma'am Achoot Cuyegkeng. Syempre, di ko pa alam yung odds na hinaharap ko pag enlistment time na. So I was pretty wishing and hoping na matuloy nga yung pinapangarap ko.
Halfway through the sembreak, naglalakad ako sa may Zen Garden nang makasalubong ko si Ma'am Cuyegkeng. Syempre, dahil kilala lang niya ako that time as a Guidoneer, simpleng 'hi!' lang ang ipinarating ko sa kanya.
Nag-smile naman siya pabalik.
Hindi ko inakalang magiging teacher ko siya for Sci10 this semester.
Similarly, ngayong mga nakaraang araw, may iniisip akong isang nilalang. Yung kaisa-isang nilalang na gasgas na ang pagkakabanggit sa blog na ito, pero importante pa rin sa akin anyway. Siya yung dahilan kung bakit tila nasa langit ako noong first year, second sem. Malapit na rin kasi yung araw kung kelan una akong nag-'hi!' sa kanya (actually today iyon, December 7), at naaalala ko yung mga pinaggagagawa ko back then. Nagkatipun-tipon kami ng 2 friends ko online, at nagkumustahan. Napag-usapan rin yung kabaliwan ko noong nakaraang taon, at kung paano ako nabubuhay one year after.
Kinaumagahan, matinung-matino ang mood ko. Ma'am Cuyegkeng day kasi eh (sori na, idol ko kasi siya eh), so dapat good mood ako. Nakapila ako sa tricycle terminal nang biglang mapansin kong paparating siya - yung sinasabi ko sa previousparagraph. As a way of moving on, pinilit ko nang mag-smile; para at least, kung mapansin niya, ay mas lalong gumanda ang mood ko at makumusta siya after 9 months. Pero ayun, dire-diretso siya na parang sundalong inutusang mag-forward march. Parang walang nakita. Parang may stiff neck.
E bakit di ka nag-"hi!"?
Kasi kumplikado ang dahilan kung bakit kaya huwag mo nang alamin.
Pero in general, nakakainis ang mga taong may 'stiff neck'. Syempre, literally wala naman siyang stiff neck noong araw na iyon kasi kung meron, matatawa na lang ako nang matindi. Pero gets? Ang hirap talaga kung nakikipagplastikan ka sa isang tao, let alone isang taong pinilit mo lang kilalanin because you liked her sensibility and wit. At dahil may natuklasan lang siyang hindi niya dapat nalaman, ay nagbago na ang lahat.
Ni hindi ka man lang niya binigyan ng benefit of the doubt.
At iyon ang masakit sa akin.
Kaya ngayon, December 7, 2008, minamarkahan ko ang isang taon mula nang mag-'hi!' ako sa kanya. Nakakatawa, kung tutuusin, at may karapatan kayong tumawa. Pero iyon lang ang punto ko, nakakainis ang mga taong may stiff neck. Feeling nila kasi, sila lang ang tama.
Now if only I could straighten up her neck slowly but surely... HAHA!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Below "The Line"
The primary advantage to having a two-hour PE class is having it only once a week. Although the drawback is the session lasting two hours, the once-a-week meeting is enough to compensate for the two hours. And that, I find quite comforting.Thing is, if something good (or bad) happens during PE class, the tendency is to bring it for an entire week. Just like what happened to me last week, November 28.
November 28 is the first real session of yoga class. Since classes were called off the week prior to the 28th for Faculty Day, we had our session considerably (but not alarmingly) delayed.
So we began the mini-lecture. Mr. Iriola briefed us about the day's positions and let us jog for 5 minutes around the Martial Arts Center. We then took our posts for the actual 'practice' (as he calls it) and began the routines. Everything was going well, save for the imbalances happening to me and the others occasionally, until we laid flat on the floor.
I don't know what pose that was, but I remember it had something to do with arm endurance. Being so, we assumed the push-up position and held it up there for 5 long breaths. Sir Iriola reminded us that the ultimate goal of yoga is to clear up your mind. So we were given the stern advice to keep our heads clear of anything - acads, org work, and little stressors of college life. My case, however, proved to be a tad different.
There was this girl in our class. She was friends with the girlfriend of my coursemate, so there's this probability that she is also of the same course as mine. But that's not really the case in here, because the issue at hand is the way she dressed - something which is interesting and scary at the same time.
Jogging pants are pretty unpredictable. Depending on the brand, you can surmise the type of material and its stretchability. Okay, presumably all jogging pants are stretchable. And you know what happens when too much stretching occurs: either it gets ripped or little boxes show on the material, giving you a good image of what's inside that clothing. And since yoga is a very stretchy class, you should expect people's butts pointed towards the sky. What happens, then, if the stretchy material gets worn on a very stretchy class?
You get a very stretchy view of what's below that stretchy fabric.
And that was what Ms. Stretchy Girl wore back then.
Whenever we were told to go 'bottoms up', the stretchiness of the fabric played its trick and then I had a view of what is down there. I really wouldn't mind if she was wearing ordinary panties, at least the butt cheeks wouldn't be that noticeable.
But no.
Because Ms. Stretchy Girl was actually wearing a thong.
Well, I appreciated the 'view', but I neverexpected to be an EXCLUSIVE preview to some girl's bare butt in a thong! (putik, akala ko sa porno ko lang makikita yun eh!)
I don't know if I should call it a good thing that I didn't see IT - because one wrong move (from her) would show it - in all its...uh, glory?
I may look/sound like a pervert here, but to some extent I am concerned for this girl because she might be looked upon by the others as well. Maybe it's just me, but I still hold principles close to my heart; and that decency and sobriety are essential parts of it.
If I would be able to talk to this girl in a highly impersonal manner, I would really suggest to her that she wear clothes that don't stretch too much to be revealing already. Because other people might see and make a spectacle out of it. You know naman the world of guys, one revealing encounter is sure to be embedded in his mind for ages. I'm not saying I'm immune nor part of them; it's just that I'm after this girl's respectability kasi she doesn't want to be looked in that light anyway.
I'm reading way too much into this, but yun lang ang punto ko - dress appropriately.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Social Living
Kung tutuusin, hindi na responsibilidad ng teachers kung may working group na ba tayo o hindi. We are, essentially, college students who should be capable of conducting ourselves responsibly towards different people. And if that necessitates dabbling in with other people, then so be it.
Pero sometimes (just sometimes), when desperate situations call for desperate solutions, the teacher does it anyway - assign you to a group so that you'll be done with it.
That is actually a dilemma - well, at least for me who is content at sitting down at the desk, putting on my geeky glasses (like I had one...), and just scribbling notes away. For me, group works are welcome additions to the course syllabus; but placed inside unfamiliar people and situations, I tend to just cower in a corner and just wait for the Heavens to intervene.
I am very apprehensive person. I embody the Minimax Principle of Relationship Development - if I know that the odds are against me, chances are, I wouldn't go with it. I really do not know why I am stricken by this apprehension disorder, when in fact there are only few things that I should be apprehensive about.
But somewhere along the way, I remember how I grew up as a kid. As a Grade School student, people shunned me in one corner because they thought that I was 'mayabang' for my own worth. Back then, I had no idea what 'mayabang' was, let alone being the Tagalog equivalent of 'arrogance'. But to say 'I am mayabang because of so-and-so' was really something I could not understand.
I had no mental model on which to qualify my supposed arrogance. That's why it's a shock to me to find other people say, "just look at Jem, he's the mayabang..." because for me, I find it baseless and absurd. What may look as arrogance could actually be thought of as simply confidence and poise. Nevertheless, I got by my Grade School days in that light. I did have friends, though, but I wasn't part of the 'in' or the so-called 'cool' crowd. I wasn't part of the jocks, or the people (usually at the back) who have a knack for one-line laugh lines. I never dared say my mind, lest I experience the long hoots typical of a La Salle Green Hills Grade School (and even High School) student - the "weh!" phenomenon.
Because it is such a pain to be 'weh!'-ed in class, you just keep those thoughts to yourself. The saying is indeed true: the more you repress it, the wilder it spirals out in the future. So with that basic experiences, I learned how to control myself - yes, sometimes to the point of repression.
If I can attribute it, Grade School and High School are actually years of volatility. Whatever people perceive of you during those times will be reflective of how you may act in the future. In my case, people did look up to me for my pseudo-human capacities, but to say I'm one of them is a rather different story.
So that's how I might have caught the apprehension syndrome. And I must admit that it's crippling me because I can't be as perky as I want to be because of these apprehensions. Loosening up is an option, yes; pero, I realized that loosening up happens mostly in situations you're most comfortable with. If you're not comfortable with a certain crowd, then why try so hard being someone you can't be?
But then again, my apprehension should be something I part with if I want to live a happy social life. Spontaneity is something that I need to master because I was deprived of the ability to be spontaneous during my formative years. It's interesting that it's only now that I learn how to make random comments out of seemingly incongruous factoids.
So then, my apprehension syndrome really has to find an end.
And let it be in me.
Pero sometimes (just sometimes), when desperate situations call for desperate solutions, the teacher does it anyway - assign you to a group so that you'll be done with it.
That is actually a dilemma - well, at least for me who is content at sitting down at the desk, putting on my geeky glasses (like I had one...), and just scribbling notes away. For me, group works are welcome additions to the course syllabus; but placed inside unfamiliar people and situations, I tend to just cower in a corner and just wait for the Heavens to intervene.
I am very apprehensive person. I embody the Minimax Principle of Relationship Development - if I know that the odds are against me, chances are, I wouldn't go with it. I really do not know why I am stricken by this apprehension disorder, when in fact there are only few things that I should be apprehensive about.
But somewhere along the way, I remember how I grew up as a kid. As a Grade School student, people shunned me in one corner because they thought that I was 'mayabang' for my own worth. Back then, I had no idea what 'mayabang' was, let alone being the Tagalog equivalent of 'arrogance'. But to say 'I am mayabang because of so-and-so' was really something I could not understand.
I had no mental model on which to qualify my supposed arrogance. That's why it's a shock to me to find other people say, "just look at Jem, he's the mayabang..." because for me, I find it baseless and absurd. What may look as arrogance could actually be thought of as simply confidence and poise. Nevertheless, I got by my Grade School days in that light. I did have friends, though, but I wasn't part of the 'in' or the so-called 'cool' crowd. I wasn't part of the jocks, or the people (usually at the back) who have a knack for one-line laugh lines. I never dared say my mind, lest I experience the long hoots typical of a La Salle Green Hills Grade School (and even High School) student - the "weh!" phenomenon.
Because it is such a pain to be 'weh!'-ed in class, you just keep those thoughts to yourself. The saying is indeed true: the more you repress it, the wilder it spirals out in the future. So with that basic experiences, I learned how to control myself - yes, sometimes to the point of repression.
If I can attribute it, Grade School and High School are actually years of volatility. Whatever people perceive of you during those times will be reflective of how you may act in the future. In my case, people did look up to me for my pseudo-human capacities, but to say I'm one of them is a rather different story.
So that's how I might have caught the apprehension syndrome. And I must admit that it's crippling me because I can't be as perky as I want to be because of these apprehensions. Loosening up is an option, yes; pero, I realized that loosening up happens mostly in situations you're most comfortable with. If you're not comfortable with a certain crowd, then why try so hard being someone you can't be?
But then again, my apprehension should be something I part with if I want to live a happy social life. Spontaneity is something that I need to master because I was deprived of the ability to be spontaneous during my formative years. It's interesting that it's only now that I learn how to make random comments out of seemingly incongruous factoids.
So then, my apprehension syndrome really has to find an end.
And let it be in me.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Disconnection
When I was in High School, I wouldn't give a damn to my mom who nagged at me whenever I lasted more than an hour in the phone... on a regular basis. And then I graduated from High School. I entered college and met scores of new people. My block had a directory, and the landline numbers were there. But actually, I never used them. Because for me, there was an easier way to ensure you're 'connected 24-ever'
And that's Yahoo! Messenger.
When I look back at it, I miss the days when I would fumble on the phone, counsel my friends on things so mundane but actually mean the world to them. I especially miss the day when my best friend told his undying love and devotion to me immortalized in the words, "Big Brother". I only contacted a blockmate by landline once; but I never tried again.
Now here I am on Yahoo! Messenger, throwing a random comment on the person who calls me as his Big Brother. It's been months, actually, because I keep a fair distance during academic days. And then a phone call interrupts. Promises to be right back.
Only to find that dissipate in the air.
Whatever happened to brb?
But then I realize, who am I to ask?
...if I am just a friend, nothing more, nothing less?
And that's Yahoo! Messenger.
When I look back at it, I miss the days when I would fumble on the phone, counsel my friends on things so mundane but actually mean the world to them. I especially miss the day when my best friend told his undying love and devotion to me immortalized in the words, "Big Brother". I only contacted a blockmate by landline once; but I never tried again.
Now here I am on Yahoo! Messenger, throwing a random comment on the person who calls me as his Big Brother. It's been months, actually, because I keep a fair distance during academic days. And then a phone call interrupts. Promises to be right back.
Only to find that dissipate in the air.
Whatever happened to brb?
But then I realize, who am I to ask?
...if I am just a friend, nothing more, nothing less?
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